shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
