Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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