you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
