Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
