im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
