Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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