i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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