so that wasnt chicken after all
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
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The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
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he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
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