so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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