we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
