my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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