i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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