At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
