if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize