Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
