It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
