my being single is dangerous.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize