There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
