let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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