broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
