I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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