Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
