I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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