but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
