i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
