I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
