Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
