Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
