Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
