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• (214): View more from Texas

  I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (707): View more from California

  he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS

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• (940): View more from Texas

  You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  He can pick locks you know

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  That's the reason for the naked stripper

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• (727): View more from Florida

  A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch

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