I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?