I threw up into my coffee this morning.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?