i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you