So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
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I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body