You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water