Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
id be glad to
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.