Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
