Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
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I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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