I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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