just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize