very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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