she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize