I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
