Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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