I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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