He is an equal opportunity slut.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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