so explain again why im purple
no
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
