Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
