you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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