he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
