I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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