i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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