all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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