Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
