Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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