He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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