Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
