What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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