I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
