Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize