i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
