okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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