i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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