It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
