I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize