Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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