That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize