I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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