Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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