Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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