jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
